The ashes

[Hesperus]

Its about this time when I tell people here Im not really interested in cricket 

It must be painful for you. Just tell them we're gonna win 3-2.

[gavin]

Maybe we'll do better on the next tour of the Windies..

[bluebrendan]

England appear to be a collection of pissheads masquerading as professional cricketers - Ben Duckett suspended after pouring a beer over Jimmy Anderson after a curfew on their nights out was lifted for a day.

[Hesperus]

Another poor performance in Perth. We will need to bat very well in the 2nd innings to save a draw.

The comments from the England management about us playing well are just laughable. Some damning stats about how often we've conceded scores greater than 500 under the current coaches.....

[Rowley Birkin QC]

And I don't think these two teams are quite as far apart as the scores might suggest. Smith makes a huge difference. I'm not saying Smith props the rest of the Aussie's up or anything like that, but his batting is so far ahead of everybody else's (both teams) he makes a big difference. Without him the two batting line-ups wouldn't be that far removed from each other. England's biggest deficiency is the bowling attack. It's OK, but the England quicks are all too similar in pace, angle and style. The Australian pace attack has more variety and a touch more mongrel.

Shame about Stokes of course (silly boy...)

[Hesperus]

Totally agree with all of that Rowley. Spot on. We're making this Aussie team look amazing but bar Smith, they are average.

Root looks a forlorn figure at the moment.

[bluebrendan]

The Aussies are indeed nothing special, apart from Smith and possibly Hazlewood, but England are stinking the place out. Win the toss, bat first and the top order subside to 131-4 on a near perfect batting surface, as Malan, Bairstow and most of the Aussie batsmen went on to show. Cook looks to have lost interest, Root seems weighed down by the captaincy and Stoneman and Vince can make neat little 50s but big hundreds are needed to win tests. Throw in that the tail now seems to start with Moeen at 7 and the chances of batting first and making 600 on a 600 pitch are pretty slim.

Twice in India last year England won the toss, made 400 or more in the first knock and lost each by an innings because the opposition made 6/700! Not playing a specialist spinner is mad, Lyon is hardly an off-spin version of Shane Warne but he chips in with some handy wickets.

[Rowley Birkin QC]

I hear this morning that certain Australian players are publicly saying they are looking forward to crushing England and even "ending some careers". Charming. I've always been a bit of an internationalist when it comes to my test cricket - no particular allegiance - but it's hard to like the Aussies when they carry on like this.

[Hesperus]

To be fair to the Aussies they were talking about ending careers before the series even started!

Watching Root interview after the game. He looked like a little boy lost. He was trying to say the right things but there was no conviction in it. I really felt for him.

The inexperienced players have done ok, in fact pretty well. The experienced players have been incredibly poor. Maybe some careers are about to be ended.

[gavin]

I'm pretending cricket doesn't exist until April now

[bluebrendan]

I'm pretending cricket doesn't exist until April now

That attitude will get you picked for England. 

[Swiss]

Cricket is boring.

I go once a year to Lords for the cider and a chat.

[goat]

can do that on a park bench and avoid fucking cricket

[Lekos]

can do that on a park bench and avoid fucking cricket

100% this

[Swiss]

can do that on a park bench and avoid fucking cricket

It's a work do. Also not proper cricket, it's the tri-service match. 3 games of 20/20

[nimrod]

100% this

You two do it together or separately ? 

[goat]

id rather watch cricket

[The Blue Blooded Maniac]

Not fancy a bum?

[goat]

no ta

[bluebrendan]

If you don't like cricket stay off the thread!   

After a poor first session England got their act together a bit though the Aussies still ended the day on top with 244/3.