citymancs

citymancs => off topic => Topic started by: goat on September 16, 2015, 17:39:46

Title: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: goat on September 16, 2015, 17:39:46
found a good looking show on netflix, top 72 stroppy animals or something

all 72 are in fucking australia!...what the fuck is going on with that place, seriously no need, pick 2 you want to keep and kill the rest

how do you go to the pub without a croc having your leg off and shit and is it safe having a shit or will a shark have your bollocks off
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: gavin on September 16, 2015, 21:06:30
It would make your life more interesting at least but I don't think incidents are that common. Anyway there's loads of dangerous animals in Cardiff.
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: goat on September 16, 2015, 21:18:14
only the women

some tart had her head bit by a sea lion, seriously, close the place down


not seen ken on this  list yet
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: nimrod on September 16, 2015, 21:51:20
America is worse

I can go walking on Mt Tambourine or the Glasshouse Mtns near where I live and the only thing to watch for are snakes which dont attack you, they fuck off when they hear you coming, nothing is gonna eat you..

In the US, you have to worry about nasty Bears, Mountain lions, Cougars, Snakes, Coyotes, Wolves

I once stayed in a log cabin in Sierra Madre mountains in California and at 1 am I was woken by a bear outside my fucking cabin, I was terrified it would rip the door of and eat me (maybe girlfriend first) didnt get any sleep

Much safer in Oz, no guns either   ;D
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: goat on September 16, 2015, 22:00:50
bollocks, sharks, crocs, spiders in your daps, snakes every bastard where and its too hot

not a big fan of africa either
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: nimrod on September 16, 2015, 22:57:56
you watch too many daft tv shows

only scary things here are the women 

(now chopper reed's dead)  :D
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: goat on September 16, 2015, 23:04:35
dont come running to me after a koala has kicked the shit out of you
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: nimrod on September 16, 2015, 23:12:59
dont come running to me after a koala has kicked the shit out of you

you gotta wach out for them dropping out of trees, about 4 kilo's they could give you brain damage
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: Rowley Birkin QC on September 16, 2015, 23:46:23
Oh nimmers - now you know that only happens during the mating season...


Meanwhile - be careful going to the toilet in Townsville -

http://www.abc.net.au/news/image/6777242-3x2-940x627.jpg (http://www.abc.net.au/news/image/6777242-3x2-940x627.jpg)
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: bluepill on September 17, 2015, 00:18:37
fuck that.
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: nimrod on September 17, 2015, 02:01:58
Oh nimmers - now you know that only happens during the mating season...


Meanwhile - be careful going to the toilet in Townsville -

http://www.abc.net.au/news/image/6777242-3x2-940x627.jpg (http://www.abc.net.au/news/image/6777242-3x2-940x627.jpg)

do you think thats real or a photoshop jobbie?
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: Swiss on September 17, 2015, 10:42:05
Apart from the snake, looks like you'd catch something anyway!


I was attacked by a Spider in Oz, was cooking in a rented villa (sounds posher than it was) and dropped some raw mince on the floor. A spider climbed out from underneath and started feasting on it. My GF at the time wouldn't let me kill it so I got a bowl and a plate and attempted to catch it (no way picking it up by hand). As I put the plate down it started hissing at me (rubbing it's back legs on it's carapace) and then started jumping at the plate over and over again... My size 11's came down fast on that little fucker.

Saw a massive red cricket in the bog.

We had a lizzard climbing up the bathroom wall, the ex took a photo and the flash stunned it, poor fella never recovered!

Saw loads of Jelly Fish

Sawins in the sea and rushed out to see everyone rushing in... Dolphins, not taking my chances there!

Didn't see any snakes

There was a tiny black spider that lived above the back door, we ran out of that every time!

had a cockroach climb over our bed, boy that was big!

And there was something in the loft... kept moving things and scuttering about...

Didn't see any snakes

The news reported that a 15 foot tiger shark had been spotted off the beach we were swimming on...

got sunburnt.
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: Rowley Birkin QC on September 17, 2015, 11:56:59
Oh nimmers - now you know that only happens during the mating season...


Meanwhile - be careful going to the toilet in Townsville -

http://www.abc.net.au/news/image/6777242-3x2-940x627.jpg (http://www.abc.net.au/news/image/6777242-3x2-940x627.jpg)

do you think thats real or a photoshop jobbie?

Sometimes I worry about you nimmers  ;)  Of course it's not Photoshoped - check the picture URL, it's from a legitimate ABC news story.

The recent lack of rain around Townsville has dried out a lot of the natural snake habitats and it seems a fair number of snakes have been seeking solace in suburban toilets!

Full story (with more pics) here -

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-09-15/snakes-in-loos-search-for-water-in-townsville-houses/6778608 (http://www.abc.net.au/news/2015-09-15/snakes-in-loos-search-for-water-in-townsville-houses/6778608)
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: Rowley Birkin QC on September 17, 2015, 12:26:03
Swiss needs to man up  :D

I've lived here 20 years and not seen a single snake outside of a wild life park. Seen plenty of snake trails in the sand / dirt - but no snakes. They tend to avoid humans.

On average only 1 to 2 people are killed by sharks in Australia each year (since records began in 1791).
In Britain more people are killed by cows. It's only a few years ago that 4 people in the UK were trampled to death by cows in one 2 month period alone.

The thing "in the loft" was probably only a possum

As far as your well being is concerned the sunburn you got was probably the most hazardous thing.

Although.... the hissing spider does sound interesting. Did it have any markings?
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: goat on September 17, 2015, 13:15:17
so kens working for the aussie tourist board now


see, i was right, look at tonys story. its a fucking nightmare place

and add the accent to my list...not everything is a question
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: Rowley Birkin QC on September 17, 2015, 13:39:09
so kens working for the aussie tourist board now

see, i was right, look at tonys story. its a fucking nightmare place

I'll remind you of this conversation the next time you get beaten up by a herd of welsh cows

and add the accent to my list...not everything is a question

Got a point there. Bloody annoying is the 'Australian Inflection'.
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: nimrod on September 17, 2015, 13:42:45
I didnt notice the ABC thing Ken,  :D but Ive seen a few fake pictures of Aussie creatures.........I think the thing is if you live in a City (like me & Ken) you dont see snakes, Ive lived on 2 acres for a good few years and Ive only seen 2 snakes and one of them was dead, seen loads of possums, brush turkeys, Kangaroos, Koalas, giant fruit bats etc I think snakes tend to go to live in places where humans dont live, we get a few spiders in the house, say 1 a month but I dont mind them, Huntsmen spiders scared me to death when I first came here but I can actually pick one up now and put it out, they are about the size of the average womans (quite big) hand but not poisonous, we sometimes get one coming in the house in summer, they dont build webs, they hunt at night and can travel one or two kilometres a night
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: goat on September 17, 2015, 13:55:08
so kens working for the aussie tourist board now

see, i was right, look at tonys story. its a fucking nightmare place

I'll remind you of this conversation the next time you get beaten up by a herd of welsh cows


you managed to get through llantwit with no cow related incidents
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: nimrod on September 17, 2015, 13:58:17
so kens working for the aussie tourist board now

see, i was right, look at tonys story. its a fucking nightmare place

I'll remind you of this conversation the next time you get beaten up by a herd of welsh cows


you managed to get through llantwit with no cow related incidents

he was too busy with the sheep
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: Swiss on September 17, 2015, 19:54:17
Swiss needs to man up  :D

I've lived here 20 years and not seen a single snake outside of a wild life park. Seen plenty of snake trails in the sand / dirt - but no snakes. They tend to avoid humans.

On average only 1 to 2 people are killed by sharks in Australia each year (since records began in 1791).
In Britain more people are killed by cows. It's only a few years ago that 4 people in the UK were trampled to death by cows in one 2 month period alone.

The thing "in the loft" was probably only a possum

As far as your well being is concerned the sunburn you got was probably the most hazardous thing.

Although.... the hissing spider does sound interesting. Did it have any markings?

Did I mention the Jellyfish???

I wasn't bothered by the thing in the loft, Sharks... yes, I didn't want to be one of those 2 people per year...


I think the Welsh drivers are far more dangerous than the cows, I've been overtaken 6 times in the last 2 days on windy country roads, I was doing 55 to 60 and most were over taking near blind corners or hills... maniacs!
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: nimrod on September 17, 2015, 21:43:04
Wales you say..


http://youtu.be/ZkttPjp7jMs
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: wigley on September 18, 2015, 15:33:09
Wales you say..


http://youtu.be/ZkttPjp7jMs
That makes a change,its normally sheep,they have their fun with !!
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: goat on September 18, 2015, 15:43:59
fucking hell, its mrs bry!
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: nimrod on September 18, 2015, 22:50:37
Nice to see you wiggers, you still a grumpy bastard ?   :D
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: nimrod on September 18, 2015, 22:59:28
This cracked me up, Northern Territory prossie gets robbed again and is thinking of packing it in


She'd have to fucking pay me  :D


http://www.news.com.au/national/alice-springss-madam-to-close-business-after-theft-to-become-a-truck-driver-in-a-mine/story-fncynjr2-1226596144184
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: goat on September 18, 2015, 23:00:36
pesty is already asking his mam for his pocket money
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: nimrod on September 18, 2015, 23:25:40
pesty is already asking his mam for his pocket money

 :D


bet she stands up when she pisses
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: goat on September 18, 2015, 23:30:18
wizards sleeves and spaniels ears all over the place
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: nimrod on September 18, 2015, 23:44:14
somebody should make a tv series about the NT, Darwin and shit..

Its full of fucking red neck weirdo's doing all kinds of crazy shit, seeing ufo's all the time, crocs and snakes everywhere

they seem to have theyre own laws, crazy twats

Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: Swiss on September 19, 2015, 00:56:58
is prostitution legal there?... for pesty's sake of course!!


seriously though, who'd steal a bunch of used dildo's???

Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: nimrod on September 19, 2015, 04:18:05
is prostitution legal there?... for pesty's sake of course!!




probably


everything else is
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: The Blue Blooded Maniac on September 19, 2015, 13:11:09
You don't look at the mantel while your poking the fire
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: Rowley Birkin QC on September 19, 2015, 13:42:46
Sex industry is regulated here. Legal brothels etc   As I'm sure nimrod knows  ;)

Soliciting on the street remains illegal.
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: Swiss on September 19, 2015, 15:03:08
You don't look at the mantel while your poking the fire

Depends if the fire is flappy...
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: goat on September 19, 2015, 17:18:09
and you have to watch you dont fall in
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: nimrod on September 19, 2015, 23:44:36
and you have to watch you dont fall in

maybe some of pesty's mates are still in there..


Thinking about things I reckon goat would fit in well in NT, all the shit that goes down, I think its the heat, I mean theyre near the equator so they have gone troppo and a fair bit warped, its a thousand miles to anywhere and its 33C there even when its snowing in Victoria, and they make boats out of old beer cans, maybe goat could do some croc therapy at Steve Irwins death zoo and become a crocologist and snake fancier, a new life for you goat, a regular contributor to the NT Times (the best paper outside Wogga Wogga) ........so get the migration forms and fill em in, in the bit where it says "Do You Have a criminal record" just put, 'I didnt know it was still a requirement. '
Mention you'll be living in the NT. opening a sex parlour specialising in dwarf lesbian sex (chimps/beavers extra) whilst studying for a degree in Crocology and snake/spider appreciation and you'll be in faster than a fart in a fan factory
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: wigley on September 20, 2015, 10:12:12
Nice to see you wiggers, you still a grumpy bastard ?   :D
Yes
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: Swiss on September 20, 2015, 12:59:36
and you have to watch you dont fall in

maybe some of pesty's mates are still in there..


Thinking about things I reckon goat would fit in well in NT, all the shit that goes down, I think its the heat, I mean theyre near the equator so they have gone troppo and a fair bit warped, its a thousand miles to anywhere and its 33C there even when its snowing in Victoria, and they make boats out of old beer cans, maybe goat could do some croc therapy at Steve Irwins death zoo and become a crocologist and snake fancier, a new life for you goat, a regular contributor to the NT Times (the best paper outside Wogga Wogga) ........so get the migration forms and fill em in, in the bit where it says "Do You Have a criminal record" just put, 'I didnt know it was still a requirement. '
Mention you'll be living in the NT. opening a sex parlour specialising in dwarf lesbian sex (chimps/beavers extra) whilst studying for a degree in Crocology and snake/spider appreciation and you'll be in faster than a fart in a fan factory

I think he should do it just to see what the response would be!
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: goat on September 20, 2015, 15:14:07
fuck that
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: nimrod on October 01, 2015, 05:57:04
 :D


https://vid.me/KVfZ
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: Kilkenny Blue on October 18, 2015, 18:17:56
PNG was worse.  Taipans trying to get into the house, locals with home made guns.  Croc farm down the road  >:( 
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: reddishblue on October 22, 2015, 21:39:56
Blue Bastards.

http://www.theguardian.com/environment/2015/sep/08/blue-bastard-newly-recognised-fish-is-blue-when-adult-and-a-bastard-to-catch
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: gavin on October 22, 2015, 22:00:05
They should put the fish on the new badge.
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: reddishblue on October 22, 2015, 22:53:12
 :D :D
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: reddishblue on October 25, 2015, 18:40:42
They should put the fish on the new badge.

Can anyone do that photoshop shite?

(https://feathersandflouro.files.wordpress.com/2013/10/1237130_523244381091420_694294031_n.jpg)
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: stephenmcfc on October 28, 2015, 13:11:27
nope
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: nimrod on October 28, 2015, 22:01:04
nope

 :D
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: nimrod on November 14, 2015, 01:35:59
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YGGTcYfrEZU
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: Rowley Birkin QC on November 19, 2015, 13:37:10
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-g-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xtf1/v/t1.0-9/12227656_973047492767857_3282713256570889547_n.jpg?oh=628ab470ab98b7be1c58f26e5bbc8506&oe=56B06879&__gda__=1454761250_29b203a579627025113ada01aed70a75)
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: nimrod on December 02, 2015, 02:02:12
http://youtu.be/-7Rop0p39cw
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: nimrod on December 02, 2015, 02:03:06
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-g-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xtf1/v/t1.0-9/12227656_973047492767857_3282713256570889547_n.jpg?oh=628ab470ab98b7be1c58f26e5bbc8506&oe=56B06879&__gda__=1454761250_29b203a579627025113ada01aed70a75)

that yank one looks soft as shit
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: Rowley Birkin QC on April 26, 2016, 03:37:32
Need something a bit more secure than a tent on some Aussie fishing trips...

http://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2016/apr/25/crocodile-attacks-man-dragging-him-from-tent-in-northern-territory?CMP=fb_gu (http://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2016/apr/25/crocodile-attacks-man-dragging-him-from-tent-in-northern-territory?CMP=fb_gu)
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: nimrod on May 31, 2016, 00:06:27
(http://i98.photobucket.com/albums/l279/napup/tarant_zpscwwaiiuw.gif)
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: Rowley Birkin QC on September 28, 2016, 09:23:00
Australian brickies can take it!

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-australia-37481251
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: zacc on September 28, 2016, 11:00:40
no more ozzie mooning, enough to put several of you on here off visiting Oz! ;)
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-australia-37481250 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-australia-37481250)
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: Lekos on September 28, 2016, 17:46:09
Australian brickies can take it!

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-australia-37481251

Didn't read like he could take it, Ken!
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: Rowley Birkin QC on September 29, 2016, 00:36:50
Very Australian - his work mates really concerned the first it happened, then taking the piss the second time.
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: goat on September 29, 2016, 16:59:21
lesson to be learned is dont wave your cock at spiders
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: Rowley Birkin QC on September 30, 2016, 08:37:37
Sound advise I've always followed.
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: Rowley Birkin QC on December 19, 2016, 00:14:55
Australian Christmas tree decorating at its finest.

https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2016/dec/19/thats-not-tinsel-deadlsnake-found-curled-around-australian-christmas-tree?CMP=twt_gu (https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2016/dec/19/thats-not-tinsel-deadlsnake-found-curled-around-australian-christmas-tree?CMP=twt_gu)

(http://www.abc.net.au/news/image/8131772-3x2-940x627.jpg)
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: goat on December 19, 2016, 13:30:54
fucks sake
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: stephenmcfc on December 28, 2016, 05:29:56
some wierd shit out that part of the world
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: goat on December 29, 2016, 08:05:26
kenny is alright when you get used to him
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: zacc on August 11, 2017, 23:08:01
you'll love this goatee

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/world-australia-40857059/australian-teenager-describes-flesh-eating-bug-attack (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/world-australia-40857059/australian-teenager-describes-flesh-eating-bug-attack)
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: goat on August 12, 2017, 17:41:37
fucks sake
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: Rowley Birkin QC on August 13, 2017, 04:01:23
This is why I swim in my local pool and not at the local beach.
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: goat on August 13, 2017, 13:52:22
at least all the piss in the pool will help when some twot lobs a jellyfish in
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: goat on August 24, 2017, 11:50:20
https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2017/aug/24/australia-geelong-names-streets-after-game-of-thrones-characters


another reason it should fuck off

should be monkey street, could see ken and gandalf sharing a flat on tripitaka lane
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: nimrod on August 25, 2017, 00:21:50
Bonkers

but look what those crazy Aussies are doing on ABC

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-04-20/monkey-magic-to-get-a-reboot/8457782
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: goat on August 25, 2017, 02:55:31
already saw about that

chinese always knock out  a new film or show every now and again
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: Rowley Birkin QC on September 05, 2017, 21:56:31
https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2017/sep/05/peppa-pig-spiders-cant-hurt-you-episode-pulled-off-air-in-australia-again?CMP=fb_gu (https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2017/sep/05/peppa-pig-spiders-cant-hurt-you-episode-pulled-off-air-in-australia-again?CMP=fb_gu)
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: zacc on September 08, 2017, 12:17:39
https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2017/sep/05/peppa-pig-spiders-cant-hurt-you-episode-pulled-off-air-in-australia-again?CMP=fb_gu (https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2017/sep/05/peppa-pig-spiders-cant-hurt-you-episode-pulled-off-air-in-australia-again?CMP=fb_gu)

Had a wry smile about this as one of the first things my sister warned me about when we first visited her in Sydney,
was when going into the shed to use the washing machine check no spiders  or webs you could walk into!! :o
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: gavin on September 21, 2017, 08:24:38
Yikes

https://arstechnica.co.uk/science/2017/09/australian-experts-freaked-by-upsurge-in-mysterious-flesh-eating-bacteria/
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: goat on September 21, 2017, 15:42:05
noticed since ken moved there weve had this kind of thing...
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: nimrod on September 21, 2017, 22:12:27
Those crazy fuckers in Darwin....

(https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/enhanced/webdr03/2012/11/30/8/enhanced-buzz-3906-1354283884-0.jpg?downsize=715:*&output-format=auto&output-quality=auto)
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: nimrod on September 21, 2017, 22:16:05
(https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/enhanced/webdr02/2012/11/30/9/enhanced-buzz-32493-1354284269-4.jpg?downsize=715:*&output-format=auto&output-quality=auto)
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: Swiss on September 24, 2017, 15:30:13
Those crazy fuckers in Darwin....

(https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/enhanced/webdr03/2012/11/30/8/enhanced-buzz-3906-1354283884-0.jpg?downsize=715:*&output-format=auto&output-quality=auto)

So where did it come from?
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: goat on September 24, 2017, 16:04:07
a land down under?
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: Rowley Birkin QC on September 25, 2017, 06:36:17
a land down under?

Inspirational stuff from Goat there  :D
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: goat on September 25, 2017, 11:38:28
cheers kenny, men at work should get some credit
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: nimrod on September 25, 2017, 13:24:22
a land down under?

 ::)
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: nimrod on September 28, 2017, 10:28:04
Those crazy fuckers in Darwin....

(https://img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/enhanced/webdr03/2012/11/30/8/enhanced-buzz-3906-1354283884-0.jpg?downsize=715:*&output-format=auto&output-quality=auto)

That guy was probably walking past BBM's house
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: Swiss on September 29, 2017, 00:49:37
Terrible puns... but I found the story!

http://www.ntnews.com.au/news/northern-territory/best-man-left-bleeding-after-being-hit-in-head-by-flying-dildo/news-story/7a5cbbe34abdead31e3b02655a2d0c30 (http://www.ntnews.com.au/news/northern-territory/best-man-left-bleeding-after-being-hit-in-head-by-flying-dildo/news-story/7a5cbbe34abdead31e3b02655a2d0c30)
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: goat on September 29, 2017, 01:05:29
youve been hunting for a few days?
 fucks sake tone, if  you are doing that whos minding the stat machine?
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: Swiss on September 29, 2017, 01:08:52
Calm down, I'm still on holiday, stats will return from Monday...
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: goat on September 29, 2017, 01:09:44
at least throw us a venn diagram
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: Swiss on September 29, 2017, 08:44:25
I prefer Gantt Charts
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: Rowley Birkin QC on October 11, 2017, 23:14:34
Don't mess with the Roos either (especially the buff ones)

https://www.indy100.com/article/kangaroo-muscles-hench-size-western-australia-facebook-photo-viral-twitter-7994776 (https://www.indy100.com/article/kangaroo-muscles-hench-size-western-australia-facebook-photo-viral-twitter-7994776)

(https://static.independent.co.uk/s3fs-public/styles/story_medium/public/thumbnails/image/2017/10/11/14/kangaroo-1.jpg)
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: nimrod on November 04, 2017, 18:08:13
Cockatoos Blamed For Chewing Through NBN Cables Across Australia


http://www.huffingtonpost.com.au/2017/11/03/cockatoos-blamed-for-chewing-through-nbn-cables-across-australia_a_23266479/
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: gavin on April 16, 2018, 09:40:38
Ouch

https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2018/apr/16/tissue-destroying-ulcer-frequently-found-in-africa-spreading-rapidly-in-australia
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: Rowley Birkin QC on April 16, 2018, 10:29:53
I'm staying indoors.
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: goat on April 16, 2018, 10:31:59
good plan, can always send  mrs ken out for the whisky
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: Rowley Birkin QC on April 16, 2018, 11:22:31
Exactly right.
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: Rowley Birkin QC on May 02, 2018, 00:37:02
Up next with have violent gangs of kangaroos - drugged up on carrots.

http://amp.abc.net.au/article/9716612?__twitter_impression=true
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: bluebrendan on May 02, 2018, 06:09:46
Up next with have violent gangs of kangaroos - drugged up on carrots.

http://amp.abc.net.au/article/9716612?__twitter_impression=true
Oz has been a fascinating sociological experiment, transport loads of criminals there and 200+ years later you get violent kangaroos.  :D
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: goat on May 02, 2018, 11:31:07
so which is  the most batshit part of  oz, must be a part the  rest of the country think fuckin hell about

Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: Rowley Birkin QC on May 02, 2018, 15:33:40
so which is  the most batshit part of  oz, must be a part the  rest of the country think fuckin hell about

Living next door to Nimrod.
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: shandon on May 02, 2018, 15:50:12
I guess that means Queensland?  :)
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: nimrod on May 06, 2018, 22:25:53
so which is  the most batshit part of  oz, must be a part the  rest of the country think fuckin hell about

Northern territory
Maniacs and loonies
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: Rowley Birkin QC on May 06, 2018, 22:54:32
I once knew a policeman who worked the far outback of Western Australia. Sounded like the fuckin wild west. He only stuck it a few years. Said the independent miners, often living on small claims out in the middle of nowhere were the worst. Genuinely scary feckers he said.
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: goat on May 06, 2018, 23:52:46
so mad max was a documentary
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: nimrod on May 06, 2018, 23:57:47
so mad max was a documentary

Everyday life up there
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: goat on May 07, 2018, 11:34:57
ken nipping out to aussie spar to get his vegemite and whisky
(https://northernbriefcom.files.wordpress.com/2017/09/wasteland_4109.jpg?w=823)
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: Rowley Birkin QC on May 07, 2018, 14:11:49
Yeah - that's so me...
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: Swiss on May 27, 2018, 01:55:06
Are you a top or bottom ken?
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: Rowley Birkin QC on May 27, 2018, 02:08:40
Top or bottom of what?
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: The Blue Blooded Maniac on May 27, 2018, 09:21:35
Of Lekos?
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: goat on May 27, 2018, 13:15:03
harsh, ken can do better
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: nimrod on May 28, 2018, 18:00:39
Top or bottom of what?

Your question shows a clean mind Ken  ;)
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: Rowley Birkin QC on May 30, 2018, 04:09:40
Pure as the driven snow me...
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: The Blue Blooded Maniac on May 30, 2018, 05:49:08
White liiiiiiines
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: goat on May 30, 2018, 11:00:17
oi fuck off. serious thread about the dangers of oz this, not the dangers of ken going off on one on ket
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: reddishblue on September 11, 2018, 23:46:26
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MrRAO_vG_K4 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MrRAO_vG_K4)
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: gavin on October 15, 2018, 21:35:12
With their immigration, energy and encryption laws, Australia is in danger of looking more backward than the US and Trump.
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: Rowley Birkin QC on October 16, 2018, 09:47:29
Oh, we're certainly trying very hard to be total twots.
Title: Re: fuck off australia part 4
Post by: bluebrendan on October 16, 2018, 12:16:52
With their immigration, energy and encryption laws, Australia is in danger of looking more backward than the US and Trump.
They've been encrypting speech for years, what was "good arvo" or "fair dinkum" all about, never mind "tie me kangaroo down...".  ;)

Talking of kangaroos, one in Queensland wasn't too keen on the free food handouts.  :o

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-australia-45854281